1. the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay
3. quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence
– Dictionary.com, 9/8/2017
You are 235 days away from a major event in your life. You stare at this number, and feel anger building within you, knocking against a space in your chest just below where your heart thuds at the thought of the event. You are not a patient person, and it feels like you are always waiting for SOMETHING; the bus, a friend, a date.
You’re a kid, waiting for your turn at the drinking fountain, your chance to go down the slide, your lunch to be served. Before you know better, you try to cut in line.
At the store, behind an octogenarian who insists on paying in exact change. You have in your hands a book that you’ve been wanting to read, or a video game that had just been released, or a box of mac and cheese you’ve been craving for days.
At the family gathering of a boyfriend, or a girlfriend. Your phone in your pocket reminding you of people you’d rather speak to. An alarm reminds you of a TV show you wanted to catch, that you were promised you would catch. Car keys in a coat singing a siren song.
The homework on your desk you do not do.
You roll your eyes at your sibling, who still does not know how to tie their shoes.
The tearful eyes of a former friend weaving an apology heavy with remorse.
Every moment of your life you spend not doing exactly what you want to do, exactly when you want to to do it. Every time you bit your tongue. Every time you were told to wait.
Every time you were told to be the bigger person.
Your hands tighten into fists. It was only a misunderstanding. They hadn’t meant to bump into you. Their eyes turn fearful as they meet yours.
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