“You freak, I’m sorry! It’s a tiny pit stop, I’ll be there at four tomorrow.”
“Chicago is not a tiny pit stop, Minnea. I get that you’re not in a hurry because you’re going to live there, but-”
“It is so a tiny pit stop when you’re coming from-”
“Uggghhhh you bitch why don’t you just get your ass on a plane?”
“Oh I’m sorry, do you have plane ticket money? Calm down, enjoy the house. Get drunk. Jesus Tori, it’s not like you’ve never been before.”
“Fine. Text me the whole time.”
M: So first thing to note about my journey is that there are LOTS of little people nuggets on board.
T: Steal one?
M: What the hell do you want with a kid?!
T: Ritual sacrifice, duh.
M: Yeah you’re not finna implicate me in some bogus 1980s satanic shit.
T: Fair enough.
T: Any sexy people on board?
M: Ticket dude could get it
T: WOW I was kidding!
M: I’m nawt tho
T: Stop that
M: YOLO YOLO swag swag
T: …You fucking child
M: You know you love me
T: OK gossip girl
M: How does the couch look?
T: Like a sofa
M: Because the catalog described it as robins egg blue but when it got delivered I swore it looked Tiffany’s box blue.
T: It’s blue balls blue, knowing you.
T: It’s not mean if it’s true.
M: I don’t have to text you, you know. I could sleep. Or be productive.
T: Whatever, I’m gonna go lounge by your pool then.
M: …wtf I don’t have a pool?!
M: Tori I deadass do nawt have a pool!
(1) Missed call
(2) Missed calls
(3) Missed calls
T: OK yeah you do not have a pool. You have annoyed neighbors.
M: Well did you make like the CANADIAN TRASH YOU ARE AND APOLOGIZE?!
T: Why do they have a pool in your yard?
M: What house are you even IN?
T: I’m going out for lunch. What was that place with all the southern shit?
M: …are you fucking kidding me?
M: You are literally in the south.
T: Lunch was good, thanks for asking.
M: Mine wasn’t. So I don’t care about yours.
T: Why wasn’t it good?
M: They actually won’t serve me anymore.
T: Don’t you carry a flask?
M: HOLY SHIT I FORGOT.
T: You forgot the flask or you forgot that you have the flask or you forgot to fill the flask?
M: The second. Totally the second.
T: You’re stressing me out.
M: You know you love me 😉
T: Am I a loser if I go out alone? I hate you for making me do this.
M: Nah. You should do it. I’m drunk on a train, you should get drunk and complain.
M: That’s seriously your thing. You get drunk and then complain about how booze tastes when you’re drunk.
T: Fuck… really?
M: If I’m lyin I’m dyin.
T: Stop drinking.
M: No puedo.
T: So what happens if they kick your alcoholic ass off the train?
M: We’re not gonna find out.
T: I mean, you don’t know the meaning of incognito. So we just might.
M: Bitch, don’t kill my vibe.
T: Have you seriously been drinking for the last three hours?!
M: NOLA, bitch.
T: You’re not even in New Orleans yet! And call me bitch one more time.
T: You ok?
M: Fell asleep. So much rum.
T: Do you think soulmates are real?
M: A real pain in the ass.
T: Be serious.
M: I think maybe? But cosmic connection can’t always overcome mortal messiness. So maybe you don’t always “end up” with your soulmate.
T: I think I would.
M: You’re married, I hope you did.
M: Tori, you better not be getting grumpy and introspective on me. We’re having FUN, remember?
M: I’ll to my truckle bed. This field bed is too cold for me to sleep.
Buy my novella, Jellyfish!
My Patreon link!
Contact me! DCMillerthewriter@gmail.com
Follow me on Instagram @ DCthewriter